A Talking Stick: Caring Too Much

Have you ever felt like you cared "too much" about someone? Your child? Your parents? Your friend? Your spouse or significant other?

In the earlier days of my life I thought care for another person meant doing the things for them that they could do for themselves.

I know today that caring means action from a place of love and support, not from a place of control or constraint. My attempts to care for lovers or loved ones where really my own misguided attempts to quell my inner struggle with personal demons of abandonment, loss and death. By focusing on others I could temporarily avoid the sense of bondage I had to my own insanity and cascading emotional decompensation.

In my marriage today I am invited to be "in relationship," everyday. From the altar of "to have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish . . ."
We don't marry by accident. We are drawn to the partner who will help us grow into the best person we can be through provoking that which were are most afraid to face.

When I sit in my compassionate heart and allow LOVE to guide my actions I demonstrate devotional care. When my heart and mind are in alignment with God's Will for me, I am blessed to have the "real eyes" to see my husband's love for me through the actions driven by divine motives.

Care is a natural by-product of love. Love is a complex process that takes us deep into our own chambers and may take years to cultivate. A few simple actions can put me on the right path. If I point my compass towards True North, I am bound to find my way.

Sometimes the very best I can do is keep my mouth shut and stay on my side of the street.