Strategic Destruction

The poet Hafiz wrote, "Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like you to find better living conditions."

I have lived in an opulent castle of fear for the past forty-eight years. I personally handled every detail, piece of furniture and floral arrangements, which were delivered fresh daily.

When I allow love into my heart it's equal to packing up one room at a time in the opulent castle, and sending its contents to storage.

It is the strategic destruction of fear.

Sorting through the hoards of fear provides the possibility of a new living address. I can change my zip code any time I choose by giving up the old and unnecessary in my life. Fear falls into this category.

Creation involves destruction.

Look around and listen.

As I move the boxes out of the castle into my humble new abode, I surrender to the divine. In surrender I am recreated into a trusting woman. Mother Earth continuously creates herself anew. I am invited to join her in this cyclical birth/death/rebirth dance which is ongoing and never ending.

I am always up for a good dance.

Past, Present, Future, #4726

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

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Details: September 19, 2009; Canon 20D; f/11 @ 1/400 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 100; 18mm.

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Rite of Passage

My daughter recently graduated from middle school. Her"tribe" gathered to witness this Rite of Passage. Graduation from eighth grade leaves her perched and ready to swoop down from the tall tree of adolescence into young adulthood and high school.

Everything changes when we cross a threshold.

It may be invisible to the rest of the village, tribe or even the world. But within the terrain of the soul we must stop and take stock of what and who we are in this moment. Then, and only then, can we step onto the path of initiation.

As my daughter received her diploma I was acutely aware that a friend sitting to my left had said goodbye to her boyfriend earlier that morning when he was sentenced to eighteen months in jail.

Another threshold.

Another initiation.

As I consciously held the joy and the sorrow of these two events, a raven flew over the procession of graduates, calling out as if to remind those who may have forgotten, "be who you are," for what other choice is there?

Hannah Stepping into a New World, #8660

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

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Details: June 11, 2010; Canon 20D; f/8 @ 1/320 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.

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test post

just a test

Repositioning the Spirit Canoe

There is a river flowing endlessly and each of us have a soul canoe that allows us to ride the river of spirit. We don't have to set goals to get to the destination because the river already knows the way, the way to our own purpose. Each one of us has an individual soul canoe.

Its ours to care for, position in the water and learn the language of the sacred river.

The river flows towards our own True North without fail. We do not have to turn our canoe around to fight the current. There is nothing up river I need. What I need is to release the idea that I am in charge and I know where I am going. I often lose my sense of direction and get confused. When this happens all I have to do is open my heart, mind spirit to the inspiring messages and movement of the sacred spirit river.

Slowly but surely the canoe repositions itself without my EFFORT. It just goes with the flow. And after all the struggle of trying to PUSH my way upstream, I suddenly realize I am flowing on the source of creation towards what I want.

Leaf and Bubbles, #7340

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

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Details: April 16, 2010; Canon 20D; f/11 @ 1/250 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 200; 100mm.

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Owl Remembering

A white Owl flew into the windshield of my friend's car as she drove from Kona to Hilo. The white majestic bird of prey flew out of the darkness directly towards the lit up vehicle headed to Mauna Loa - the great living volcano.

As the white owl lay dying, Mauna Loa was creating new life. The Goddess Pele reminds us that she changes everything she touches and everything she touches changes.

So it is with the great mystery and with the circle of life.

Owl speaks to me regularly. She calls in the night, though sometime ominous sounding it is always affirming I live on a dynamic planet spinning magically through space.

The owl's howl calls for change, evokes transformation, and re-members me.

I howl for change. And when the echo reaches my ear I hear the call of the Screech Owl.

AHO!

Kilauea Caldera, Hawaii, #8343

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

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Details: August 31, 2007; Canon 20D; f/8 @ 1/125 sec; ±0 EV; ISO 800; 17mm.

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What If?

What if?

What if I was never born?

What if I never met him?

What if I had studied Marketing instead of Social Work in college?

There really is no way to live life looking in the rear view mirror. When I second guess my past, I am discounting the present moment. Life is happening now. It is not happening is 1976 or in 2024.

My life is right now.

I am exactly where I supposed to be.

Are you?

If you are not where are supposed to be, are you willing to take the necessary steps to get there?

We are all just bozo's on the bus traveling towards bliss or away from pain.

Which is it?

Detour, #5280

© 2010 James W. Murray, All Rights Reserved

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New Beginnings

My father is almost 80 years old, and continues to be hospitalized for falls, infections, high and low blood pressure.  It is very hard to feel so powerless over the health and care of a loved one.  

My parents moved away to the California desert for warmth and retirement about 15 years ago.  They were younger and in fairly good health.  As they have aged, I have felt their distance more profoundly, in my sense of powerlessness to be available to help them on demand.  I have my own family in the Bay Area, and my sisters live in other states.  They too have the pressures and feel the demands of just getting by in today's economy.

It is of deep sadness to me that I cannot be with my father every time he is hospitalized, holding his hand and being the voice of the family to the hospital providers.  My father is shuffled between home, hospital and  nursing home, where he is sent to recover following every hospitalization.  Even when my father was young, robust and active, he was as stubborn as a mule.  He likes to say, "it's my way or the highway, baby!"  And, while I know he meant that in jest, I also had enough sense to take him at his word. 

Tonight, it is not his way. Tonight it is God's way.  I pray tonight my father feels the love of his children in his heart.  I pray that my mother knows she has support even though it is not right
around the corner as I would rather it be.  Tonight, I pray for my sisters, even the one who no longer speaks to me. I pray for their health and comfort.  And, tonight I ask God to comfort my little girl who wishes she could magically fix all the problems in the world and in my life so everyone would be okay.

My father is elderly and I am 47 years old. I am not a child anymore.  Yet, when faced with some of these "grown up" issues I revert back to feeling like a one.  I must call on my adult to be the first foot forward towards support of my parents and family.  My child can come along for the ride but she is not responsible for the causes or conditions of the situation. 

 

Jay and Loretta Book, March 16, 2006, #6984
 

(c)2010 James W. Murray, All Rights Reserved

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