Funny how avoidance works.
Avoidance is like running hard on a conveyor belt headed toward that issue I most want to pretend does not exist. There is an old saying, "run towards the roar." My instinct is to run from the roar. But it is a ruse. The old lion roars in the north, while the young female lionesses wait in the tall grass. As I run away from the roar, I am tearing towards my own demise.
Denial is considered an evolved response when the alternative is avoidance. At least with denial, I can pretend I really do not know. With avoidance the knowledge bites at my heels like the hounds of Hades.
In marriage I try to avoid the things I know will cause tension. I know this does not work. Although I continue to pretend that if we simply don't talk about it, "it" will go away. The only thing that will go away is the trust we have worked to build in our relationship. So why do I continue to behave in a manner which always results in eventual tension? Why not be excited to have the conversation that brings us closer together through mutual trust and communication?
Tonight, as the sun sets I am walking towards the roar. Would you care to join me?
Hilo Sunset Ship, #8227
© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.
(click image for larger version)
Details: August 28, 2007; Canon 20D; f/9 @ 1/160 sec; ±0 EV; ISO 200; 55mm.