Yet, once found isn't it then that we too frequently become dependent, or even the more dastardly, Codependent with the new found lover?
Independence Day celebrates our liberation from the British. The United States broke ranks and created a new form of governance. The revolutionaries' hope was that through rejection of Kingdom's control and laws the new country's people would work collectively to create a genuine, free democracy, displacing an oppressive monarchy.
As individuals, in partnership or not, we must find our own sense of Independence. An enlightened connection to one's Self enables connecting with others. Independence and interdependence are both needed in a healthy society, and are vital to a functioning family system.
Knowing who I am, and what I want, makes it much easier for my partner to know my wants. We free ourselves of the old broken processes of mind reading and need meeting. In my family of origin I needed to know what you needed before you did so I could meet that need immediately. By reading minds and meeting needs I earned my keep -- survived -- in the family system. The price I paid was the loss my sense of Self in this process of constant vigilance.
I cannot truly fully meet others' needs, or even anticipate what their needs may be. I can only focus on myself and be in relationship with myself, so that when I do need something I can understand and ask for help. Knowing who I am -- my strengths, weaknesses, capacities and limitations is true Independence.
By realizing such Independence I am empowered to be a whole partner for my One True Love. The TRUEST Power is that which is found in my heart. It there that is the source of the power to love even when the instinct is to run.
Flag Grab, #8888
© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.
(click image for larger version)
Details: June 20, 2010; Canon 20D; f/11 @ 1/1001 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.