Monday, December 14, 2009

Buoyantly Adrift

Into the pain isn't where I want to go when I am emotionally drained and beat up by life. The pain has kidnapped and sold me into prostitution.  I free fall into the world of mind numbing substances to drown the hurt. We cannot outrun our destiny. We can only be aware that it is there beckoning us. 

Destiny is the blaze from the light house that leads me back to shore from my shipwrecked voyage.  I have been buoyantly adrift, lost and alone, riding the waves, cold and hungry. This painful state of emotional disconnection forces me to seek shelter from the internal storm raging within my heart and head. 

There is no eye in the storm. There is only the eye of my inner knowing, leading me home towards the light.  The eye of the tiger burning bright in the darkness of the night. The evil eye of my grandmother's Sicilian neighbor who never believed I was Italian because of my strawberry blonde hair. The strega herself, who fell and broke her hip in the foyer of my mother's home.

I feel your eyes upon me as I bob up and down like a downed gull unable to lift myself from the water, waiting for the inevitable.  I know you are here with me as I lay tired and thirsty.  I know when I awake, the light will be so bright I will be blindly at peace.

Pacific Coast By Full Moon, Cambria, California, #4668
(c)2009 James W. Murray All Rights Reserved
(click on image for full-sized version) 

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